The Ninja Handbook
by Vibrant Spectrum
Summary: The list of laws governing the actions of a master ninja.
1. Lesson 1

**The Ninja Handbook: Lesson 1**

Your enemy does not have feelings.

Description: When out in the battlefield, the person you face does not have feelings. You are not to care for them, their families, or their lives. Kill them without hesitation; a ninja's mission is one of his top priorities.

Note: Your enemy will also attempt to kill you without a second thought, so worry for your own life instead of his.

* * *

"My enemy does not have feelings…"murmured Sakura. "So I am to kill them without hesitation?"

She threw a kunai at the target in front of her, but because she was distracted, the child didn't put enough force behind it, so it simply glanced off the board.

"Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei! I have a question! When you talked about lesson one in class today, about you enemy not having feelings? Who is our enemy?" Sakura waved and caught his attention.

Iruka seemed taken aback by such a mature question although he knew he should have seen it coming. "Well, Sakura, that's an excellent question from you." He patted her head. "Let's gather the class and ask them what they think."

Having said that, Iruka raised his voice to the practicing students. "Class, come here. Sakura Haruno has just asked a question, and I want to hear your opinions on this." There were several groans; the class was often subjected to thinking questions by Sakura.

"Now, if you still remember the lesson today about you enemy and their feelings, Sakura has just asked who our enemies are. Does anyone know the answer?"

There was an uncomfortable silence in the training grounds. Iruka quickly broke it. "Let's say there's no right or wrong answer. Who do you think your enemy is?"

A few hands shot up. "One at a time, starting with Kimiko."

"The monster under my bed?" A few scattered laughs.

"The Hidden Rain? They killed my brother during a mission."

"Anyone who tries to attack Konoha?"

"Anything which you feel threatened by?"

"The other Hidden Villages?"

"Ok, class, that's enough. That's a lot of answers from you, which is very good. For your homework, I want you to go home and think about it. Tomorrow, we will go over it again. Until then, you're all free to go."

The class cheered and left to pack up. Sakura went with them, knowing, like her classmates, that Iruka-sensei would forget. Whenever he gave an assignment that involved going home and thinking it over, it would never be gone over the next day. Only written assignments were given such treatment.

Even so, Sakura would always think it over. The top students always did.

As such, only the top students would not hesitate to kill. The very best ninja only thought of their missions. Never of what they were destroying, the son or father or cousin of some poor wretch who would soon receive the news of the deceased.

Naruto had not attended class that day.


	2. Lesson 2

**Lesson 2**

Hiding from the Enemy

Description: Hiding from your enemy is essential knowledge for any shinobi. Learn this effectively, and you will be able to excel at ambushes and survival, to name a couple of techniques.

Note: Beware of the fact that you enemy is also adapt at hiding, and possibly tracking, so ambushes, etc., may not always go as planned.

* * *

"He he he _heeee_…." A perverted giggle erupted from the white-haired youth that stood crouched outside the public bathing houses. He had a light blush and a wide grin on his angular face.

The teen consulted a little book in his hand. "So, lesson number two: self-concealment. Piece of cake! Wait for me ladies, here I come!"

Jiraiya checked that no one else was around before he focused his chakra, molding it around his body and willing it to camouflage him. Within moments, when he glanced down at his feet, all he saw was the dirt beneath them. He smirked lewdly and strolled into the bath house.

Little did he know, someone was loitering behind him, waiting for him to be thrown out of the bath house yet again.

* * *

The women stared. Then they blinked, rubbed their eyes, and confirmed it with one another; the steam from the hot springs wasn't causing them to see a mirage or a hallucination. So what was that piece of paper doing floating in mid air? Did public bathing houses make inanimate objects defy gravity?

A brave little girl waded up to it. She had to crane her neck quite a bit, but in the end, she was able to read it out loud. "Here stands a pervert by the name of Jiraiya… Mummy, what's a pervert?"

But the girl's question never reached her mother's ears. Instead, all the uncovered women within earshot scrambled for a towel and a hard object.

* * *

Jiraiya, now visible, ran out of the bath house with a few fresh bruises. He bent over and clutched at his knees, panting.

"What was that you said, Jiraiya? A 'piece of cake'?"

Jiraiya looked up into the grinning face of his sensei. "S-Sarutobi-sensei! Where did you come from?"

"I see you've been hard at work practicing your invisibility jutsu. But here's a little tip from me: when you become invisible, make sure you aren't seen during the jutsu, or your enemy may just sabotage you. For example," Sarutobi reached behind Jiraiya and pulled the note from his back. "You need to be more careful. But other than that, your jutsu really was flawless."

It was years later when Jiraiya, then invisible, watched as his opponent performed the hand signs for invisibility. The memory came back to him in a flood, and Jiraiya sneaked up behind him and stuck a paper bomb to his back.


End file.
